Why You Can't Sleep

think about it.....

That's why.

waiting on you

i'm waiting on you
been waiting a long long time
yeah sedated
pretty complicated
even medicated
and still
i'm waiting on you.

Why A Poem Might Cry

                 What do you call those
                       rare moments
                    when Who You Are
                                and
                   Who You Want To Be
                              collide
                                and
      all your questions have simple  answers
                                 and
                      you see yourself
                             complete
          not in pieces.... not like a dotted line
                               drawn
           to exactly where you're standing ?

yeah, that's right.... Iceland

From somewhere
 on the morning of that day
that's what i heard
in my head,
  " Iceland "
Gather them all.
All 4 of them.
And like loyal sibling Musketeers led
by a 62yr old Don Quixote-like father
they would travel to that place
together.
They would come from Montana and Arizona
and
Plainfield, ILL.
to share... Reykjavik.
huh ?
They would see that place.
They would breath that air.
He would rent an apartment in the city fpr a few days
and a cottage in the country
 for couple more.
He could do this.
They could do this
They would drink Black Death beer
and eat reindeer burgers
maybe spot a whale
or play foosball in oh-bla-di  oh-bla-da bar 'til 1am
while it's still goddamn light outside
or get a hotdog at a stand 
on a worn-down streetcorner on Trygvagat St. amongst cigarette-smoking
skateboarding Icelandic teenagers
and a family from Boston.
A photograph of ex-prez Bill Clinton is taped to the fence.
He once got one there.

Noah would return home w/Icelandic ink on his arm.
Adam with world seasoning.
Rachael with a sweet appetite
for more adventure
in her young life.
Sommer built this ship to sail
a long time ago.
Made it sea-worthy and trustful.
and Don Quixote...well,  his eyes would fill
with tears of pride
 and joy
when no one was looking
 at the mess he made
of his life.
Today they were Iceland.
Today it was perfect.

" like a band of gypsies we go down the highway "

Because from somewhere
on the morning of that day
that's what i heard
in my head,
  " Iceland "
for 1,000 good reasons
and for no good reason at all.

yeah, that's right... Iceland.

 

returning

the thought of returning
to an ex-lover
and an affair that ended
badly
is about as appealing as the thought of smoking
cigarettes again,
sleeping on the wrong mattress
or
stepping on a broken shadow.

There is nobody

           There is nobody walking by
                         walking
                     quite like you.
       There are no fingers touching fingers.
         There is nobody falling through.
               There is nobody empty.
                There is no hole to fill.
           There is nobody that made it.

                     There is nobody.

2 by 4

I'm Al Green
I'm Shug Knight
I'm a time machine.
I'm a fistfight.
I'm a big deal.
I'm a closed door.
I'm looking out for you.
I've been here before.
I'm a slow fuse.
A 6 ft. 2 by 4.
I'm the best damn friend that you don't have no more.

The new man in old town

He was the last one to hear
 what he had to say.
Most days it didn't
 matter.
Words would've just gotten
 in the way.
She was the only one still
 asking why
 even a sunny day feels grey.

He thought about her
whenever he saw 2 people
pretending
that they were happy.

Heavenly Rules

I've been living under
heavenly rules
for most of my life.
I've been working with
a handyman's tools.
Masking tape
and a razor knife.
I've seen illustrations of
heavenly jewels
and Streets of Gold.
A man on a cross.
Hallelujah's  to them that got found.
Hallelujah to them that's lost.
I've been climbing over
heavenly rules
that made little sense to me.
I've been kissing fools and smoking Kools.
No  doubt.
No apology.

from Alsip to Iceland

What becomes of the brokenhearted?
i don't know.
But one of them
woke up one
morning
and looked at life
differently.

One of them gathered The 4 That Mattered Most into
a 1973 VW super-beetle convertible
and drove it
all the way
from Alsip to Iceland
hoping to get there
before the clock struck 12.

One of them wrote something down
every day
in the back of his mind for 40 years
and waited 40 years
to read
between the lines.

One of them took a lot of
the blame and
felt a lot of the shame
for making some really really stupid
choices
at important times
and paid
a big fat price for it.

One of them learned to laugh
out loud
when things got shaky
and shake
out loud
when it got too hard
to laugh.

One of them said what he
had to say.
Touched who he could touch
along the way,
paid union dues
and wore black work shoes
as shiny as a promise
to a ghost.

What becomes of the brokenhearted?
i don't know.
But one of them
woke up one
morning
and looked at life
differently.

10' wide & 3 votes deep

I'll punch your ticket.
Then sit me down
    or
stand me up.
There's nobody looking.
I'll shout out when i've had enough.

i knew why i wanted you

You reduced the noise in my head
down to a level
where i could
hear myself.
Where i could steer myself better.

The Kitten in the Mitten

                                                  The Kitten
                                     in the Mitten introduced the
                                               Kat to the Hat.
                                                 That bunch
                             coulda steamrolled me gently but didn't.
                                        They steamrolled me flat.


                                            as if you never been..

                                    Yeah, i'm admittin' i got bitten.
                                            It was my weakness.
                                              My crime de jour.
                     The Kitten in the Mitten or that damned Hatted Kat.
                                                  It's all a blur..

music made life on Earth

In those early
early
hours before
your brain begins
hammering
your hopes
and you're finger-tapping Muddy Water blues
with your back against the ropes.
Long before you look in the mirror
and cringe
or step outside
naked
and imagine
yourself.

You'll sing along..

any worn photograph

Maybe it didn't matter if her
hair was up
or down
on that particular morning
or if a sky filled with
big white cotton-ball  clouds would have
made her
face the afternoon glare
without those over-sized sunglasses on
and her smile
would have
hurt him less
or maybe there was another reason
for a first kiss
and a last dance happening on the
same night
or for why she named her cat  Sal Mineo
and didn't give him
 a fighting
chance
to say goodbye heroically.

moods that matter

So he felt kinda incomplete
without a woman
next to him
One not sitting thisclose to him or
lying down on/top of
him
Yes he did.
And it took a while to
forget a life
or two
or three
and begin again at 60
Uh-huh.
So he avoided the heat
and paid more
attention
to moods that matter
Still  he felt incomplete
without a woman
across the table
from him
One not holding out her hand
for his hand
everywhere
and it took a
long time
a long time
Uh-huh

The Angel from Ohio

There were flames as intense as
those rising
from a gas station fire
that had to be
extinguished.
Nobody wanted it to end like that.
Burned down to the heat-cracked cement.
There had to be something that was
worth saving.
Something.
Repair work would  take
hundreds of thousands of years
to complete
strangers clanging away
with the sorry-ass tools available them now.
There were ashes as sober
as Satan
and as deep as Dionysus
piled up everywhere
and Common Sense was
sniffing around, too, asking a lot
of unanswerable questions,  like
   "  Who's sorry now?  "
but the Angel from Ohio never
wavered
never faltered
never sighed.


  

Janine

She looked like she had
something
on her mind,  but
she wasn't gonna talk
about it freely..
Her eyes whispered it.
Her smile
hinted at it.
So he painted what she may be thinking with
imaginary colors
and hoped
that some of them
were
her favorites.

The Next Level

I didn't begin counting the steps
until i was more than
halfway up
and by then it was
too late to head back
down this floating
staircase
all the while
lamenting
the weight of my shoes
and the
labor of my breathing.

The Rock in my Throat

I can't tell you anything
that you don't
already know....you just don't know it yet.
But,  i'll  say this
i was there for a time,
i saw things,
i held hands with the devil,
i talked with God,
i cradled the innocence of a newborn baby,
i saw the Grand Canyon,
i spit on the Capitol steps,
i hugged my mother for the last time and
didn't realize it was the
 last time,
i swore to tell the truth
 the whole truth
and , godammit
i left a note.

A Most Beautiful Love Story

What if you've been told,
    all your life,
something that wasn't true
by people
that you really
really love
and it didn't matter

Her Only Poet

She fell for her only poet.
Words wrapped in words
 like a chain around
 her heart
from a distant land
and she never felt nothing like
 that before.
Not from nobody.
Especially not a
nobody
that she couldn't touch,
hold,
kiss
or slap.
But, she did it anyway.
She fell for her only poet.

it's a little bit higher up than i can reach, maybe just...

it's a little bit higher up than
i can reach
maybe just too abstract
for me to
 comprehend.
So while some go and flex their inflexibilities
 and others shame the gospel truth
   goddamn shamelessly
i look up
to you
to reach down
to me.

" you've got company "

That's the announcement that a creaky old
wooden house door
makes at night
especially at night
   because it hears footsteps
coming
and waits
very patiently... until
the time is right.... to herald
      " you've got company "

falling

a soft rain
is falling
falling
in the distance
lightning
thunder
curtains flutter
the window is open
the dark wind cools our skin
your head resting
on
my shoulder
my hand on your hand
there are no secrets
in this room
i watch you breathe
like i breathe
dream
like i dream, while
listening
to
a soft rain
still falling
falling

cream soda

               all the while
                       *
                      ice
           floats in a tall glass
                       of
         Canfield's cream soda
             on a picnic table
              in the afternoon
                       sun
                   defiantly
                        *
                  yesterday
                  we kissed
                       and
                    laughed
                         *
                      today
                 we twisted
                      every
                       tale
                        
               all the  while
                         *
                        ice
             floats in a tall glass
                         of
           Canfield's cream soda
              on that picnic table
                in the afternoon
                         sun
                         and
                      all of us
                    get smaller
              
                 

The Forgotten Son of b-movie actor Aldo Ray

                        " hey Dad, remember
                                              me ? "

waiting.... Juliet

                                        We are standing
                                           much closer
                              and we are not looking down.
                                       We have held on
                                          much longer.
                               So stubborn or spellbound.     
                               We are sleeping much later.
                                We are not dreaming now.
                                       We are breathing
                                            like catfish,
                                  like they showed us how.
                                        We are standing
                                            much closer
                              though we are not touching, yet.
                                        Romeo is waiting.
                                         waiting.... Juliet.

Kat shit

    It takes 2 to tango
 so Van got John Lee Hooker.
  I got me a hungry heart
 man,  i just wanna watch her dance.
               Not cook her.
             us 1 and 1,  well...
           That's a Paso Doble
    Or a painted fingernail pressed to a big soap bubble.

once or twice

                                                      once or twice
                                                        it was good
                                              maybe that's all they had
                      once or twice good means that it was almost always bad
                                 you can't trust The Fates to lock the door
                                                  or protect the heart
                                                  from breaking more
                                                                *
                                                       once or twice
                                                        it happened
                                               maybe that's all they had
                     once or twice laughing means that it was almost always sad
                                      you cross a street you look both ways
                                                  you see love leaving
                                                and on-coming malaise
                                                                 *
                                                        once or twice
                                                                up
                                                  only wears you down

Katwoman

She turned up again
sometime
 in early February.
Came back with a different attitude.
She'd been in training for
 over 40 years.
  yeah.... me, too.
We're going for the World Record.

We've got 6 months.

the hapless wanderer seeks medical advice

the hapless wanderer
  counters, " but... It feels sooo-o-o
      right "
  " My god, boy
   You got delirium.
   A head full of helium.
   That's why you can't sleep at night.
   We're gonna drain the romance out your bones.
    We're gonna re- paint those walls in earthy tones .
    Keep Sinatra from Simply Red,
          try sleeping diagonal
                     in bed."

Talking

Talking
is harder
than walking on ice
or explaining String theory to me again..... twice.
Or thinking you know something.
well... it better be true.
           It better have happened.
           It better be you.
yeah
Talking
is harder
than making it nice
by painting over the same picture.... twice.
Harder than Tarot
           or chirology,
           dancing on tables
           or Letting It Be.
Talking
that's hard....
I know how you feel.
Harder than honey-baked Damascus steel.
Harder than not talking.
Harder than hell.
Hard to get the words right.
It's so hard to tell.






is

pagan dilemma

Oh Lord

We are scared shitless of the future.
We look up as if to say,
 " we  appreciate the Sun and roll of Thunder "
We like all them Gods that we walk under.

We pray that some of them are listening today.

p.s.
why'd they put mountains in our way?

Beans about Apples

                                               When i encountered her, i figured
                                                            she was an apple.
                                                              She was round,
                                                                 red in color,
                                                                       ripe
                                                       and she looked... delicious.
                                                        " Yep " i said to myself
                                                        "  she's an apple, alright. "
                                              So when she told me that she didn't fall
                                                    from the tree directly above her
                                                         I thought.... hmmmm, well...
                                                                           ok
                                                          then... where???????????
                                       " Oh heck, noooooooooooooo-o-o," she insisted
                                               " not THAT tree, no way. uh-uh, nope."

                                                                       Whew
                                                           I was glad to hear THAT...
                                                     because from what i could tell
                                                     THAT tree had some.... issues.

                                               and me? i would make the big mistake
                                           of believing a story-teller AND the story told...
            
                                            " That an apple could rock and roll it's way
                                                                   across a farm.
                                                               Travel down a road.
                                                 Park itself right under a bad ju-ju tree
                                                          and act like fresh produce
                                                        to some wayward passer-by
                                                  that doesn't know beans about apples
                                                                        or beans
                                                       or some LAW discovered by one
                                              um..Mr. Sir Isaac ...uh, Olivia-John-Newton. "
                                                                             ouch !

                                                                       
 
                                                      

their merry way

                                             
                                                 
                                                                 under
                                                             a city moon
                                                                    
                                                                    in
                                                            a parked car

                                                       a rental due saturday

                                                        they parted friends
                                                               apparently
 
                                                                   then
                                                                   went
                                                            their merry way
                                                                

Ali vs Spinks

15Sept78
friday night

Round 1.
Ali looks both serious and slow.
Spinks is the aggressor.
Round 2.
Ali is moving....better.
Spinks is wild.
Round 3.
Ali is missing a lot of punches.
Spinks is crazy.
Round 4.
        is Spinks round.
Round 5.
Cosell calls it a " flurry " of lefts and rights.
Round 6.
Ali is 36yrs old and it shows..... but he's still
                 The Louisville Lip
                   the draft-dodger
                     The Greatest
             not Cassius Clay anymore
                     the truth-teller
                       Muhammad
Round 7.
Ali is a boxer.
Leon Spinks uh-uh.
Round 8.
Ali is puttin' a whuppin' on Spinks ass now.
Round 9.
Ali is slowing down.....still winning.
Round 10.
Ali !
Round 11.
Battle fatigue.
Round 12.
Ali gets a second wind.
Round 13.
The Ali Shuffle.
Round 14.
Ali just can't Knock Him Out.
Round 15.
They go the distance.
Muhammad Ali wins a unanimous decision.
10-4-1
11-4
10-4-1

It's been over 30yrs since i watched that bout on
ABC-TV friday night fights.
There was a pencil and paper nearby so i
took notes.
Deb and i had rushed home from a funeral wake
on the northside.
A sad affair involving someone on her side of the family.
A 40ish guy with a family.
A lawyer.
They thought he was healthy.
He wasn't.
A heart-attack, maybe.
Who knew?
We paid our respects and got the hell out of there.
It wasn't right
and Ali was fighting Spinks on tv at 8pm.

15Sept79
friday night

They thought she was healthy.
She wasn't.

busy listening

There's a soundtrack to
my life
playing.............. not audibly , so i guess that it's just me
listening
to these particular songs.
Songs that cleanse and sanctify.
Protest songs and lullabies.
Songs of joyful
  heartbreak
       or
    elation.
Mersey beat or Motown incantations.
Songs that interrupt whatever i'm doing
or thinking
or yammering on about
and suddenly...
     a soundtrack of rhythmic artistry.
The soundtrack to my life is playing inside of me.
Songs that leave me up-lifted and
 free-falling. 
Sorry...  i couldn't hear you.
I was busy listening.

Trouble like a puzzle missing 50 pieces

They felt bent and busted because
        In God They Trusted
while in Washington D.C.
 they's singing Born to Run blue-sy.
You hear em?
They's singing Born to Run, Bruce-y
from behind those black-iron security gates or traveling the interstates
 in Ford
 or Dodge.
 Some in camouflage.

Known trouble is brewing and it's on the way in 50-something shades of grey.

Trouble not Allah.
Trouble not Jesus.
Trouble like a puzzle missing 50 pieces.

dust

                           
                                                         1.
                                             We're here now.
                                We know someday we'll be dust.
                                             We're shiny now.
                               We know one day we're gonna rust.
                                             People get  quiet
                                    after years of being shushed.
                                 So they whisper it  " life's so big "
                                   So big they think they'll bust.
                                                         2.
                                              We're here now.
                                     The 2 of us... tried and true.
                                              You're radiant.
                                           oh baby " parle vu? "
                                       People get quiet, did you
                                              notice that, too?
                                        Dust covers everything.
                                  That's what time and gravity do.
                                                          3.
                                              We're here now.
                                        Lets take a walk around.
                                              We learned how
                                    to keep our feet on the ground.
                                Still, it gets so damn quiet when the
                                               lord only sound
                                       is a crescent moon rising as
                                            our dust settles down.

on birthdays and bandages

   She squeezed longevity
    into a very
    short life
    and stuck me with
    the blunt end
    of a very sharp knife.